Our family was a little tight on money, so I didn’t get many new things. We lived in a somewhat middle to the upper-class community, and the next town was very affluent. All my friends had nice houses, even whole meadows to play in; everything seemed so carefree. I luckily was part of the ‘in’ crowd, but with that luxury comes a price. How could I continue to pull a high status wearing the same clothes every week? I didn’t want anyone to know about my shortcomings; the last thing I want is pity from my friends. Which is why I never told them I had two jobs. Sure we had a great house, which we luckily could pay for before we got into financial problems and my parents split.
Shopping one day, I saw all the pretty things, all the things I couldn’t have. Jeans, underwear, jewelry. I then said fuck it and put this lovely necklace I have been eyeing it in my purse. Walking out, I had considerable guilt conscious and was probably sweating bullets. I then walked out and ran out of the mall at an average pace, but definitely with a pep in my step. To my surprise, no one followed me; no one knew. My guilt went away, and I suddenly was delighted; I had this lovely necklace.
I became a stealing machine. It was perfect; who would ever assume an ‘obedient’ well mannered Asian American would do such a thing? Each time I stole, I went higher in value and quantity. For months I could steal jackets, jeans, underwear, jewelry, anything my heart wanted. I felt like I belonged in the A club; I had nice things like they had.
Tamara and I were doing our usual run at Nordstrom. “Oh, this looks good on you,” I say to her as a distraction to the employee in the fitting room to not sound suspicious. “Oh yes, very good,” Tamara replied. Happy with the products we had stashed in our bags, we walked out of Nordstrom happy as can be.
Two people came running up to us the second we stepped out of the door. A lady grabbed me hard by my right arm and said, “excuse me, but you ladies need to come with me.” Oh Shit, fear came over me as we were being escorted back into Nordstrom and led to a back office. “Ladies, may I please see your bags.” I just sat there speechless as they went through all the things I had in there not paid for, totally the amount of $1,200. “We have been watching you.” All I could do was cry. “We won’t do it again, I promise,” “Sorry ladies, we need to report this; how old are you?” Tamara was 17, so luckily for her, they just called her parents, me on the other hand, I was 18 and two months old, they had to report me to the police. “The police?!” I said it tears. For an hour, I sat there until a cop showed up and had to sign a contract saying I wasn’t allowed to step into a Nordstrom for one year.
The police officer escorted me out of the store in handcuffs. I see people looking at me in disgust. This can’t be happening to me. The whole ride there, the policeman was lovely; he tried to calm me down and get me to stop crying. “It’s ok, mistakes happen all the time, as long as you can learn from them, I bet you are a good kid, huh? Good grades in school?” “Yes” “Good grades, I’m also the class president” as I burst into tears. “awe kid, I feel bad, I’ll try to attend your trial” Trial? I was a convicted criminal.
I was in the holding cell for 6 hours, to be released once my parents got me. The holding cell was bare, had on the bench, a toilet, and a payphone. I tried to make the call to my parents, but since I was in a different area code, the market wasn’t free. Collect call, no answer, where are they? I called nothing again; after ten calls later, I was able to track down my dad.
I said there and waited for what seems like a decade—a convicted criminal. I just threw my hold life away in one night; everything I did to better myself all turned to shit. I sat there, alone and cold, crying. A sandwich slid under the door; it was nonsense, cheese on white bread. Absolute shit.
Why did I think it was ok to steal all those things? Did I never thing I was going to get caught? How stupid was I? It was then and there when I realized that it just wasn’t worth it. I wanted to be someone; I wanted to be successful on my own. It was the biggest and most important lesson in my life, and it was this incident that changed me from a girl to a woman.
It was right then, and there I decided to be morally acceptable, to be someone people can look up to, someone people can admire, someone people can respect. Hard lesson, but so grateful it happened early in my life; who knows if I didn’t get caught that day how much deeper down the hole I would have gotten.
**If that wasn’t enough, I changed my attitude and perspective for good after the 100 hours of community service. I had to do picking up trash in those orange vests so the incident can be removed from my record.
Peace, Love and Stiff Cocktails 